Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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