You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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