OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Me too!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
