all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
