I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
