I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
