So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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