its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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