i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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