'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
