Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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