Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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