his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
