We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
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Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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