it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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