her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
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the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
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Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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