Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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