it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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