Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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