Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
