Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
