Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
