i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
