This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
