before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
