Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
