And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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