We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
