Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
