Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize