why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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