I think I am morally bankrupt
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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