take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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