finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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