you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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