this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I donโt think he understands how Social Media works.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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