I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
