this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
