i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
