11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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