these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
