It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
