Who wears a wallet chain?!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's never too late to be topless.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
