just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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