I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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