See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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