Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize