Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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