she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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