i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
