I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
