i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
