i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
