its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
