Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
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