Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
