Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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