I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
