Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
