I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
